Saying farewell

Another close friend is leaving Teluk Intan for greener pastures up north. She is one of my makan buddy and a grand listener who listens to my many complaints, mumblings and grumblings. As of 1^st july, I bid farewell to at least 7 friends who went off to work in bigger hospitals as they leave this town, one by one. One of my housemate is now in KL, busily treating sick children in the biggest hospital in our country while another is on her way out to Penang.

On the other hand, I am still here in Diamond Cove. Each day, I wonder when the transfer letter will come. As I do not intend to pull ‘strings’ or cables, I guess it will take some time. At least, I enjoyed (and still do!) my posting here (remember my long post about what I learnt here?). However, it’s also time for me to further my career. I know that once the letter arrives, we are not given much time to move. In fact, it is often backdated J. This is the normal fate of doctors in Malaysia. Most of us are not given much choice when it comes to posting. My boss has 3 little kids in KL but worked in Teluk Intan for more than 1 and a half year. He commutes almost weekly just to see his children. When his son fell sick, he could not even nurse his child.

For the sake of the community and the nation, we neglect our basic health and needs. Some family matters are put to the backburner for the sake of helping patients. It’s not that all patients are appreciative of what we do. In fact, some even question our judgment and repeatedly refuse interventions although we are doing our best for them.

We realize that some of us need to go to the smaller district to serve the people. What we are dissatisfied with is that those in contacts with ‘bosses’, those people with ‘cables’ to pull and those who have influential families seem to never leave the big towns. A few of my friends in the Klang Valley has never served in the small towns or kampongs. There need to be a revamp in how doctors are being posted around the country. Some of us feel that there should be a rotation system whereby everyone is required to serve in the districts for a reasonable period of them unless they have very concrete reasons to stay in the big towns. If not, why are we given the same pay regardless of where we serve? Why are we all called doctors?

Otherwise, a lot of less ‘well-connected’ doctors in the peripheries will feel marginalized and demotivated while the ‘upper crust’ or ‘higher society’ remain contented and pampered in the Klang Valley, etc. At least for now, this story has a happy ending as my boss successfully ‘win’ his appeal and he is now working nearer to his young family. How about many other silent doctors who remained in far-away hospitals, especially those in very rural areas in East Malaysia? When will they ever see justice being served?

On the other hand, in our practice, now all patients do accept our choice of treatment. No matter how much we trumpet evidence-based medicine and obtain the best advances in medical care, we still cannot change mindsets and attitudes. One of my patient was diagnosed with cancer of the colon, which is operable, but she refused surgery as her children and family members wanted to try alternative treatment. Another Orang Asli gentleman has operable pancreatic tumour but gave up because he feels that he is too old. He was 65 year-old.

How do we as doctors respond to this kind of scenario? When I was much junior in service, I will feel very disappointed that my patients do not want me to help them. At that point, I feel like I have failed them. As time goes by, I realized that I am also doing my best by offering kindly advices laced with empathy. By giving them informed choices, we give them control over their lives. Maybe that is the most important thing in their lives at the moment they discover that they are terminally ill. When someone is faced with a life-threatening illness, they often feel fearsome due to the lack of control and hopeless due to the looming disaster.

Therefore, giving them autonomy is not such a bad thing after all. As long as they are making valid decisions with a sound mind, the best that we could do is to respect their decision and wish them best of luck.

By the way, to my dear friends who are now chasing their dreams in bigger centres, to those of you following your heart’s desire, to my pals who is travelling on a different path in life from mine, this piece is dedicated to you. For you have proudly done your part for the poor and oft-neglected folks in the districts. May God be with you and take care...

P.E.T.I.

P.E.T.I. is not the Malaysian version of SETI.

P.E.T.I. is also not a super-secret organization formed to fight crimes and rid the world of all evils.

P.E.T.I. is an exciting event coming soon to a town near you, organized by the bored masterminds of Teluk Intan, namely the creative brainpower of a few doctors here. It's to be used for the greater good of mankind.

So, stay tuned for more information on P.E.T.I.

In the meantime, let me whine about the state of internet connection in the past few days. I cannot even upload a foto or any blog entry. I'm not sure whether this is being put up or not so lets cross my fingers and hope for the best. Therefore, no pictures until the state of internet affairs has been mended...sob sob...

Down and out!!

Modem.Gone.Kaput.“Siew Jor”.Habis.Zilch.Nada.

I’ve gone for almost 1 week without a modem in the house. That’s a week of agony. Although I could feed my hunger pangs for Internet at work, it was a mere 15 to 20 mins of public surfing doing the urgent stuff (checking mails, fb, fs and news) before I have to go attend to some work.

Therefore, I am deprived of my major source of entertainment, social life and information. Poured out my energy into a few different outlets…namely new-found physical activities (ran like never before), read a few books (those non medical-related), took pictures of random, mundane stuff in daily life (hey, I’m in a small town that many of you have never visited!), played my guitar/saxophone/comp games & most importantly, spent a lot of quality time in the presence of the Lord.

Being deterred from cyberspace doesn’t mean that I am lost in my own world. Read the recent news including the infamous story on the baby ‘selling’ racket in Johor. We as the public should not pre-judge the accused as the trial has not taken place and we do not know the whole story yet. Sensational reporting is part and parcel of mass media.

Of course the act of selling babies is deplorable in our society but what actually transpired in the minds of the people involved remains uncovered until further details are investigated and revealed in due time. As for the moment, I feel very sad and disappointed as a doctor because the basic tenet of medical care might be breached if a senior healthcare professional is proven to be the mastermind or instrumental in these black-market deals. Even so, any accused is innocent until proven guilty under our laws and therefore, let us wait and see….as we look at the rates of end-stage renal failure patient going up, before long, we might even haf kidneys for sale!! Gasp..

Just before I left for KL, admitted one patient with very badly ulcerated, smelly and bloody breast cancer. The moment we peel off the previous dressing, insects started swarming towards her due to the reek and the bloody discharge took more than 5 minutes of compression to stop the ooze of blood due to the amount of raw tissue seen.

She was just 40 year-old. As she asked me some questions about how to reduce the smell from the tumour, I wondered how is it that people keep their illness to themselves up to such late stage. I mean, either the lady or her husband would have noticed the swelling way before the terminal stage. She told me that it’ll be ok for her family as her husband has a younger second wife. Then it dawned upon me that she is so used to be unwanted, stigmatized, neglected that having a tumour is just part of the daily pain that she is having. She has accepted her ‘lot’ in life and doesn’t want to fight anymore. I see the depths of pain, suffering and embarrassment in her eyes.

Pain.....because of the emotional and physical ailment. Suffering….because of the advanced nature of metastatic illness (cancer cell spread to bones, lung and brain is possible) and embarrassment…because of the sight and smell of her illness.

That’s why it was a respite when I loaded up my stuff and drove to KL, alone but wanting to just ease my mind off the daily drama I face at work. Stuck in a traffic jam after months of living without congestion is a totally different experience. Besides boring and time-energy-consuming, it puzzles me to think how much we still depend on our cars despite the steep price of petrol. It’s so surreal to be back in a place where I grow up in and yet feel so separated from…feels like two worlds’ apart.

Anyway, got a lot of encouraging comments from new and old friends so I vow to update my blog more frequently. Hopefully, the next time I blog about my work will be on a topic much more inspiring and less gory and graphic.

Maybe I should talk about something light-hearted and humourous next? Sigh..I really need to get a funny bone. Seriously, out of the 250 over bones in my body, I think I seriously lack a funny bone. My dream-blog is something is hilarious and witty like the production from kenny or POTS, etc, etc. At least I know that I am regularly getting 150 or more hits per week..which is a far cry from the massive volume of traffic on those well-established sites but hopefully, I am getting there. All out to conquer the cyber-space.. :-)..errr, wait, where's my Crocs sandals and Stila kit again?

Lessons learnt from the 'wilderness'

10 lessons learnt from my sojourn in the ‘wilderness’ (a.k.a. Diamond Cove) before I embark on another chapter of my life....

1. There is so much joy to be derived from simple pleasures in life

A simple walk around the green grassy compound in the hospital can be interesting and calming. Even kite-flying can be fun when we see how little children and adults alike try to lift their kites in the sky and work so hard to keep them up.

2. Solitude is not a scary word

There are so many things to be done when we are by ourselves: blogging, playing music, reading, cooking, gardening. We are never alone when God is with us anyway :-)


3. Long-distance traveling alone is a very reflective and deep time

Each trip brings different memories and experiences that form this kaleidoscope of life. Although single-person trips will be cut drastically due to the rise in petrol price, I guess it was good while it lasted...


4. Life in a small-town can be difficult initially but we learn to be self-dependent and God-dependent

When we grow up, we have to assume responsibilities for our own lives and with limited resources in a small town, we learn to improvise and provide for ourselves. Not only that, there is just so much of time in communion with our Lord due to the quietness.



5. Racial lines can be blurred when we are willing to bridge our differences

This is what being Malaysian all about…we appreciate each other’s culture and enjoy our differences and yet respect and continue to practise what our forefather’s taught us


6. Everyone can keep in touch via the Internet, especially with facebook, blogging and chats

This current generation has the most impactful, explosive, life-changing media that knows no boundaries and censorship..it’s a double-edged sword


7. Walking to work in the morning in the mist before the ray of sunlight burst through the clouds can be the most evocative, dramatic and surprising experience

Being eco-friendly is part of life..if we don’t love the nature, how do we sustain life on earth for long?



8. An easy-going group of working colleagues means life is less complicated and work more efficient and pleasant

This is only applicable if we have understanding and responsible bosses who nurture our growth and trust us when we are capable and trustworthy, which I am glad that it’s found here in the surgical department


9. People come and go very fast

Another reality in life that I begin to accept as farewells became more frequent. We have to say goodbyes in life but that doesn’t mean that the friendship ends.


10. Changes are inevitable

Change is a constant in life. As I surrendered my transfer form and place it in God’s hands, I pray that I am making a worthwhile decision for my future.

Not Your Average Super Hero

The following is a fictional account from the desk of Sammie Hoo, an ambitious but always intimidated young reporter from Marvel Magazines at the big metropolis of Kay-El.



"My first interview with Wonder Woman"

I still remember that eventful day when my editor-in-chief slammed his door shut and stormed towards me. "You, Samantha. Come into my office right now."

As I timidly made my way to the office, I could hear the sniggering and whispering behind my back. It's been two weeks since I last reported on any significant news and I could feel my head on the chopping block. I know that I am not performing well but I think I deserve a final chance.

"Miss Hoo. I don't know what you have done for yourself but Diana Prince herself has asked for you to write an article for her. She will meet you in an hour's time at the coffee shop downstairs!"
"But sir, I am not prepared..." I stammered.

Despite my protestations, I was shooed out of the room and I trembled as I arranged my papers on my desk. My co-workers asked gently about me and I told them what happened. Everyone is shocked that Ms Diana Prince, also known as Wonder Woman' has asked to see me. The next one hour passed by like a bullet train as I tried to compose some questions for my all-important interview that might be my final piece for this magazine. When the time came, I made myself to the Star Been Cafe and waited for the woman who changed Kay-El. I held my breath as I saw an amazonian figure drifted to the entrance.

"Hello. Miss Sammie. How do you do? Thanks for meeting me at such short notice"

I've never met someone so dignified, so royalty-like, so gigantic. Her presence is astounding. As I stood up in attention, she laughed at my discomfort and asked me to sit down while ordering two cups of lattes for us. I began to ask her about her day and she quickly began her story.

"Dear girl. I am going to talk about the worse day of my life!"

And so her story begins. Last week, Wonder Woman received a phone call from a woman called S. S is a young lady at the age of 25 year old and she was staying in one of the northern states. Miss S was forced to marry Encik M as his third wife as her father is falling into debts and Encik M had his eyes on her. She asked for Wonder Woman to help her as she was in love with En T.

Therefore, on that fateful Friday, Wonder Woman made her way to that northern state and changed into her costume in one of the public toilet. The moment she stepped out of the toilet, she stepped onto a pile of bull-shit. She exclaimed some mild expletives and suddenly, two men in white caps appeared. They looked horrified and closed their eyes. One of them called someone and as WW was puzzled, she began to asked them if she could help them. The older man fainted the moment she touched him. Failing to feel for a pulse, she began doing CPR on him in the public and a crowd gathered. A police vehicle arrived.

Initially, she was relieved that help came. To her dismay, she was being arrested. For what? She asked.

"Cik ditahan kerana berpakaian tidak senonoh and melakukan perbuatan melampau di khalayak ramai".

WTF, she was furious. She took out her lasso and began to disarm the officers from all their weapons and clothes even..leaving them with only their underwear. In her fit of anger, she even overthrown their car. Then she took off in flight leaving the entire crowd in so much of amazement that they forgotten all about their prayers.



"So, in short, my dear Sammie. I was so furious," WW summarized.

"I agree with you. Those men were horrendous, " I agreed.

"No, Sammie. It wasn't that. That stupid bull-shit spoiled my Hermes sandals!"

We had a good laugh and I realized that WW is such a sport after all. I was grinning like a Cheshire Cat as I know that I have an article worthy of a Pulitzer prize. I was so relieved that my career is no longer at stake. Thus began a wonderful working relationship between Diana and I as this first joyful encounter marked the beginning of my journey in documenting her many wonderful exploits.

THE END


Especially for http://www.nuffnang.com.my/blog/2008/06/09/nuffnang-exclusive-private-screening-hancock/